What an eventful Spring this has been for me. Not at all what I envisioned. And things have transpired that have kept me off my true path of dietary changes.
You know part of it. Death, illnesses. Not to be unexpected when you turn sixty and become part of the "older" generation. I just didn't expect it so in-your-face- boom, boom, boom!
They say everything comes in threes. That is even the old Hollywood legend when actors pass on to the Great Stage in the Sky. My threes have been accomplished, and I would really, truly, enjoy a break from it all.
I lost my uncle in early March, one day before my good friend's mother died. In early May, his wife, Aunt Flo, passed unexpectedly. Two weeks later, my mother's remaining brother, Uncle Eddie, was finally released from his suffering and quietly went with his wife of almost fifty years holding his hand. It was good that he went to his new, healthy life in Heaven, but I will sure miss him. I will miss our conversations.
My illnesses have been spread in between all of this. Early April, a darn respiratory infection that just wouldn't go away. Late April, a colonoscopy. Be sure to get yours. The doctor found several precancerous polyps and removed them. Had I not gotten the hemorrhoids, I probably would have put off going to get one, and it might have caused some huge problems.
Since then, however, my daily gas output has increased ten-fold. I had been working on increasing the fiber, because aside from the polyps, she also found that I had developed diverticulosis. Fiber and lap-band surgery produces a fine line to cross over without problems, and I personally have to really pick my fiber carefully.
When I got what I thought a gas pain ( I have had them in the past when I ate crummy yet delicious foods) that lasted most of the evening and well into the early morning light, I knew I had to figure out what was going on. I even broke out the pain pills when it migrated around to the back. I desperately tried to figure out if this was a lap-band issue, so go see that doc, or if it was another problem, therefore my regular doc. Finally, I went to see my regular doctor because he was much closer.
He seemed to know what it was immediately, but he sent me to get an ultrasound to verify his suspicions. When he called and told me what the problem was, and to call my lap-band surgeon because I would probably need additional surgery, I didn't know whether to laugh from relief or cry because I had to go through this all again.
Well I am, after all, 4-F. Gallstones. And let me tell you sometimes they get in a really hurtin' mode.
Mama's got these rolling stones, wherever they stop, they cause such pain. And when they lodge, all you get is agony.
Okay, it doesn't rhyme but you get the point. Gallbladder's coming out this week.
Gee, is that gonna screw up my whole 4-F gig I got going on??
When the doctor was sharing the ultrasound report with me, one part of the report stated "excessive bowel bloating." When I questioned him about that, his reply was, "Well, you know you are 4-F!"
Then realizing what he said (he knew about my blog), he got the giggles. I thought he was going to have to leave the room to compose himself. It did relieve the tension and angst I was getting thinking about being cut on again.
I AM FLATULENT! I Got Gas! And believe me when I tell you it feels so good to let 'er rip!
Is that TMI??
Sunday, May 29, 2011
Thursday, May 12, 2011
What Gives You Comfort?
If you have been a regular reader of my blog, you probably remember that my Uncle Lester passed away a couple of months ago. I was deeply saddened when I found out last week that his wife, my Aunt Flossie, suddenly died. I suppose she was ready to go be with her husband and her brothers and sisters.
Aunt Flossie was known for her total devotion to her own family. Her kids, her grand kids, and now her great-grand kids were the center of her universe, and she lovingly made their world a better place for having been a part of it. I will miss her terribly.
Aunt Flossie was also known for two other things: her quilts and her German Chocolate Cake. Let me talk about the cake first. She made it from scratch. She used her own eggs, along with fresh butter and cream. It was an absolute given that in our family, her cake was the groom's cake. And she made a lot of them. And we were all disappointed when we went to a wedding and the cake wasn't sitting there on the table. That cake gave us comfort, and there was never a crumb left to freeze for the first anniversary.
Aunt Flossie also made quilts for the family. She would present them as wedding and baby gifts. I would always ask her when I would get mine, and she would always answer without hesitation "when you get married." And since I hadn't married, it had become a running joke between the two of us.
When Mom was so sick, she made her one. That quilt gave my mother great comfort. It was made by her sister, with loving hands, and became a symbol of their devotion to each other. It was that same quilt that gave me my only laugh when my mother died. After a few days had passed, I called to check on her, and I all but nanny-nanny-boo-booed her with the knowledge that I got my quilt after all! There isn't a time that I don't pull out that quilt and think of both of them. Now, it gives ME comfort.
My mistake when Mom was so sick was that I used food as my comforter. It didn't give me any, but it did leave its fat calories behind. And if I have learned anything about my eating habits on this journey it is the fact that I, for way too many years, was a stress eater. I finally figured it out this year, when several people that I knew and loved passed on. I didn't reach for the water, I reached for the cookies and the chips. No apples for me unless they were in a great big pie.
I also figured out that I must have been stressed for many years prior to my "aha" moment. And, now that I think back on it, I realize how complicated and stressful I made my life. Losses, moving to different towns, and breaking up with my long time boyfriend all helped add to my stress. I went into a career that often, especially in the beginning, gave me joy and comfort, but that over the years became increasingly stressful. Which led to more bad food choices until I slowly began to ruin my health.
It is so easy to see now. Why couldn't I see it then? One reason: because we only see what we want to see!
Food should be used to give your body nourishment. It is not meant, and has never been meant to be, your source of comfort. We all have our comfort foods. I am now visibly looking to what I turn to when I need comfort. And I am working hard to make work, exercise, and healthy food choices that which brings me comfort.
I was going to write a little more, but we are about to get our FIRST thunderstorm of the year and hopefully bring us some much-needed rain!
Come on down, Rain. Bring this land some comfort. I am thinking that taking a nap while it rains sounds quite comforting to me!
Aunt Flossie was known for her total devotion to her own family. Her kids, her grand kids, and now her great-grand kids were the center of her universe, and she lovingly made their world a better place for having been a part of it. I will miss her terribly.
Aunt Flossie was also known for two other things: her quilts and her German Chocolate Cake. Let me talk about the cake first. She made it from scratch. She used her own eggs, along with fresh butter and cream. It was an absolute given that in our family, her cake was the groom's cake. And she made a lot of them. And we were all disappointed when we went to a wedding and the cake wasn't sitting there on the table. That cake gave us comfort, and there was never a crumb left to freeze for the first anniversary.
Aunt Flossie also made quilts for the family. She would present them as wedding and baby gifts. I would always ask her when I would get mine, and she would always answer without hesitation "when you get married." And since I hadn't married, it had become a running joke between the two of us.
When Mom was so sick, she made her one. That quilt gave my mother great comfort. It was made by her sister, with loving hands, and became a symbol of their devotion to each other. It was that same quilt that gave me my only laugh when my mother died. After a few days had passed, I called to check on her, and I all but nanny-nanny-boo-booed her with the knowledge that I got my quilt after all! There isn't a time that I don't pull out that quilt and think of both of them. Now, it gives ME comfort.
My mistake when Mom was so sick was that I used food as my comforter. It didn't give me any, but it did leave its fat calories behind. And if I have learned anything about my eating habits on this journey it is the fact that I, for way too many years, was a stress eater. I finally figured it out this year, when several people that I knew and loved passed on. I didn't reach for the water, I reached for the cookies and the chips. No apples for me unless they were in a great big pie.
I also figured out that I must have been stressed for many years prior to my "aha" moment. And, now that I think back on it, I realize how complicated and stressful I made my life. Losses, moving to different towns, and breaking up with my long time boyfriend all helped add to my stress. I went into a career that often, especially in the beginning, gave me joy and comfort, but that over the years became increasingly stressful. Which led to more bad food choices until I slowly began to ruin my health.
It is so easy to see now. Why couldn't I see it then? One reason: because we only see what we want to see!
Food should be used to give your body nourishment. It is not meant, and has never been meant to be, your source of comfort. We all have our comfort foods. I am now visibly looking to what I turn to when I need comfort. And I am working hard to make work, exercise, and healthy food choices that which brings me comfort.
I was going to write a little more, but we are about to get our FIRST thunderstorm of the year and hopefully bring us some much-needed rain!
Come on down, Rain. Bring this land some comfort. I am thinking that taking a nap while it rains sounds quite comforting to me!
Sunday, May 1, 2011
How Many Aggies Does It Take?
I love my niece. I really do. But when she called me last February with a simple request, I had to really search my mind to the time I said, "You need anything, give me a call."
The simple request was if I would mind if she brought a few of her friends with her for a short visit. Having told her long ago to feel free to bring some with her for a beach visit, I was thinking three, maybe four girls. So I said sure bring 'em and come on down. That was when the bomb dropped.
"Aunt Cindy, we need a place to stay for the Texas Adopt-a-Beach cleanup weekend."
"Okay, that's not a problem." I was thinking maybe eight to ten.
"Well, here's the deal. It will be around sixteen, but I PROMISE it won't be more than twenty."
I started thinking about where they would all go. I have three bedrooms, but one of them I use as a very small study. Where would they all sleep? And food? I knew as teenagers that they could really fork it down. But college kids? And I didn't even want to think about the water bill. But because I love my niece, I said yes.
I borrowed air mattresses, pushed all the furniture to the side, made quilt pallets, and went to the grocery store. I patiently waited the days out until their arrival. I began to think it might be a little fun once I got over my shock of seeing that many kids all over the floor.
The drive from College Station to Corpus Christi is about six hours in length. I knew they weren't leaving until the end of classes around five in the evening. Knowing it would be late, I decided to calm myself watching Game 6 of the Spurs-Grizzlies series. Well Ha Ha on me.
The worse the score for the Spurs, the later it got. Finally, during a time out after one of their few leads, my niece called to tell me they had taken an inadvertent detour and would be just a little later than first thought.
The game wore on, as did my nerves, both as a Spurs fan and a worried aunt as to when they would get here. By the end of the game I was ready to uncork the wine and dig into the tortilla chips. I didn't find the wine, but I did find the chips, which I thought tasted much better with a little hot sauce.
The kids arrive around 12:30 that night. Knowing they would be tired, and knowing we would all be up very early in the morning, I figured they would settle down pretty quickly. They all staked out their spots, and began to what I call "setting up their camp" area. I found a chair to watch, stunned at the fact they brought their own food, mattresses and towels. They all began to fall onto their beds once they each got their turn in the bathroom. I retreated into my little domain with my niece. Sometime around 2:00 the house got very quiet.
The next morning, after they left for the cleanup, I sat down for a much needed cup of coffee and the morning paper. When it became time for them to finish up the cleanup, I started getting out the food to have lunch ready for when they got back.
That's when I took a good look at what they brought. And at what I bought.
They brought fresh fruit, whole grain cereals with low-fat or fat free milk. Fruit bars, granola bars. They did bring some pop tarts. They were still kids, after all. They didn't bring anything to drink except water.
Me? I bought potato and tortilla chips. I bought sodas and cookies. I opted for flour tortillas for the breakfast tacos mixture I cooked up using spicy sausage. I got hot dogs for lunch. No turkey dogs for me; I had to have all beef dogs! Did I mention the cookies? They were opened by ME not by them.
It was good to see that today's youth were eating more healthy than I did at their age. And while they did consume the tacos, hot dogs, and most of the cookies, they also snacked on the fresh fruit and ate very few chips. Their one concession to total unhealthy was sodas. Good to know some things will never change!
As I got to talk and visit with them, I started to see a much brighter future for our country and our planet. They were serious about the meaning and purpose of their club. They were smart, articulate, and extremely polite. Thinking they were not that much older than the kids I taught, it gave me hope that once they got to college, their maturity and unselfish thinking of others would grow by leaps and bounds. Maybe there is hope for the older generation, the greatest generation, that they will be leaving our world in very capable hands. Not only will the Earth be healthier, so will they. They are learning for our mistakes, and are determined to move forward with better, smarter decisions.
Their club is called EPIC. It stands for Environmental Programs Involvement Committee. Their members are all part of the Environmental Programs at Texas A & M College Station. And it took just sixteen Aggies to clean up over a mile of dirty beach along the barrier island of St. Jo's.
The EPIC club is awesome. But the Aggies that make up the club will be EPIC adults. I hope I live long enough to experience their contributions to society.
So hey, you EPIC kids. Y'all come back now, ya hear?
The simple request was if I would mind if she brought a few of her friends with her for a short visit. Having told her long ago to feel free to bring some with her for a beach visit, I was thinking three, maybe four girls. So I said sure bring 'em and come on down. That was when the bomb dropped.
"Aunt Cindy, we need a place to stay for the Texas Adopt-a-Beach cleanup weekend."
"Okay, that's not a problem." I was thinking maybe eight to ten.
"Well, here's the deal. It will be around sixteen, but I PROMISE it won't be more than twenty."
I started thinking about where they would all go. I have three bedrooms, but one of them I use as a very small study. Where would they all sleep? And food? I knew as teenagers that they could really fork it down. But college kids? And I didn't even want to think about the water bill. But because I love my niece, I said yes.
I borrowed air mattresses, pushed all the furniture to the side, made quilt pallets, and went to the grocery store. I patiently waited the days out until their arrival. I began to think it might be a little fun once I got over my shock of seeing that many kids all over the floor.
The drive from College Station to Corpus Christi is about six hours in length. I knew they weren't leaving until the end of classes around five in the evening. Knowing it would be late, I decided to calm myself watching Game 6 of the Spurs-Grizzlies series. Well Ha Ha on me.
The worse the score for the Spurs, the later it got. Finally, during a time out after one of their few leads, my niece called to tell me they had taken an inadvertent detour and would be just a little later than first thought.
The game wore on, as did my nerves, both as a Spurs fan and a worried aunt as to when they would get here. By the end of the game I was ready to uncork the wine and dig into the tortilla chips. I didn't find the wine, but I did find the chips, which I thought tasted much better with a little hot sauce.
The kids arrive around 12:30 that night. Knowing they would be tired, and knowing we would all be up very early in the morning, I figured they would settle down pretty quickly. They all staked out their spots, and began to what I call "setting up their camp" area. I found a chair to watch, stunned at the fact they brought their own food, mattresses and towels. They all began to fall onto their beds once they each got their turn in the bathroom. I retreated into my little domain with my niece. Sometime around 2:00 the house got very quiet.
The next morning, after they left for the cleanup, I sat down for a much needed cup of coffee and the morning paper. When it became time for them to finish up the cleanup, I started getting out the food to have lunch ready for when they got back.
That's when I took a good look at what they brought. And at what I bought.
They brought fresh fruit, whole grain cereals with low-fat or fat free milk. Fruit bars, granola bars. They did bring some pop tarts. They were still kids, after all. They didn't bring anything to drink except water.
Me? I bought potato and tortilla chips. I bought sodas and cookies. I opted for flour tortillas for the breakfast tacos mixture I cooked up using spicy sausage. I got hot dogs for lunch. No turkey dogs for me; I had to have all beef dogs! Did I mention the cookies? They were opened by ME not by them.
It was good to see that today's youth were eating more healthy than I did at their age. And while they did consume the tacos, hot dogs, and most of the cookies, they also snacked on the fresh fruit and ate very few chips. Their one concession to total unhealthy was sodas. Good to know some things will never change!
As I got to talk and visit with them, I started to see a much brighter future for our country and our planet. They were serious about the meaning and purpose of their club. They were smart, articulate, and extremely polite. Thinking they were not that much older than the kids I taught, it gave me hope that once they got to college, their maturity and unselfish thinking of others would grow by leaps and bounds. Maybe there is hope for the older generation, the greatest generation, that they will be leaving our world in very capable hands. Not only will the Earth be healthier, so will they. They are learning for our mistakes, and are determined to move forward with better, smarter decisions.
Their club is called EPIC. It stands for Environmental Programs Involvement Committee. Their members are all part of the Environmental Programs at Texas A & M College Station. And it took just sixteen Aggies to clean up over a mile of dirty beach along the barrier island of St. Jo's.
The EPIC club is awesome. But the Aggies that make up the club will be EPIC adults. I hope I live long enough to experience their contributions to society.
So hey, you EPIC kids. Y'all come back now, ya hear?
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