Revive Your Spirits

I have had my spirits revived in so many ways this past couple of weeks. It has helped to wash away many of the frustrating self-doubts that had been oozing their way into my psyche. I wanted them gone, and I didn't want to have to find a pill to make them disappear!

My friend Jill told me that I was under the two month rule. She explained that for every $10,000 you want to earn from a job, you have to wait about a month to find said job. She was just about spot on. I am working within an industry that I wouldn't have even given another thought to had it not dropped in my lap while I was sitting on the swimming pool steps. And who gets a boss that rewards you with a bonus on their second day? Or who lets you, after four days on the job, take off for a couple of days to go on a trip?

Working perks aside, just knowing that somebody wanted to take a chance on ME lifted my spirits up so much. Each resume sent and not responded to was downright depressing. Running to the phone in hopes it was somebody, anybody,calling about a job offer only to find a telemarketer on the other side positively made me cry. And as that burden lifted, I began to see other things around me that truly did lift my spirits.

I had a little more money in the bank, so I could go get my hair cut. That lifted my 'do as well as my spirits! And in celebration of my new found job, she gave me a discount. That made me smile, and smiling is a really good spirit lifter.

But what really lifted my spirits was the comments from family about how much weight I had lost. That was the kicker!

I had been off track, not losing what I wanted to over the last few months. I had wanted to be twenty pounds less than I now was in order to make sure people noticed when I went to my family reunion. I was afraid that they would still see me as really fat. Because I had no husband or kids to bring to the gathering, I wanted to at least be noticed for looking good!

I had conveniently forgotten that I had already lost over forty pounds, and that it showed! And guess what? They did notice!

This reunion was a long time in the making. Of the ten kids born to my grandmother, every single branch had at least one of their descendants at the reunion. We came from all over, and we oohed and awwed over their kids and grand kids. We took lots of pictures, and there was a ton of hugging. And nobody went away disappointed about how much they had or had not changed. But the changes were all on the outside, not the inside where our psyches lurked.

The dark side of my spirit wanted to believe that my kinfolk would judge me and find me wanting. Fortunately, it never got to rear its ugly head. My good spirits side was determined to savor every moment of the reunion, and that side kept me smiling all day long.

I got quite a few comments about my weight loss, but what surprised me was that it did not matter! The reunion was about what we did as cousins or as brother or sisters, not what we looked like. Yes we had changed, and yes we decided at the last minute that name tags would help, but our childhood memories were all intact. All one hundred or so of us there had our spirits lifted right there in the Knights of Columbus Hall in Iowa, Louisiana.

One cousin, with whom I had connected with via Face Book, was particularly thrilled. She lost her dad first through a divorce, and later through his death. She didn't know hardly any of us. And of all of the second or third generations there, she had her spirits lifted the highest. She had found out who she was by visiting the past with all of her new-found relatives. Seeing her enjoy the experience truly made me feel loved.

Sometimes, all we need is a smile and a kind word or two to have our psyches tweaked. And those minor things make your spirit positively soar!

A New Path

Finally! My elevator is no longer stuck, and my roller coaster ride is over! I am joining the ranks of the employed tomorrow. What an uplifting feeling that is. I have already begun to dream how to spend all that money after all the bills are paid. I am positive I will have no trouble making that dream a reality!

The job is with a startup company that has infinite possibilities. I will be learning the workings from the ground up. This excites me. Everybody needs a new challenge once in a while. And even better, the office is about three miles from my house. I won't have to leave an extra thirty minutes early to get to my job on time!

For the first time in a long while, I have actually thought about cooking healthy again instead of cooking to end my stress cravings. Having a steady routine is extremely necessary for me in order to eat to live instead of eating to appease my frustration. Because the workplace is so close to home, I can choose to eat a light healthy lunch and be home early enough to cook a very healthy supper. This will get my weight loss back on track.

I will also have time in the mornings to make myself get into a healthy exercise routine before I sit at the table to drink coffee. I will even have time to work a puzzle or two in the paper. The exercising will help me to start firming up the parts that have been a little saggy since I have lost forty pounds, and perhaps stave off any other sagging parts as I lose even more. And what is even better, I will have money to go out and buy some new clothes! That is what I have been waiting for!

I did not meet my goal of losing an additional twenty pounds by end of summer. But Emmy, my support group guru, reminds me that I need to cut myself some slack since it has been a very emotional spring and summer for me. That is true, I do need to do that, but the biggest hurdle I have is in thinking that I did not do what I was supposed to do. I did not meet my deadline.

But, as I start a new career, I do realize it is okay. I got hired. He thinks I can do what he wants me to do, and in order to be successful, I will do the job to my best ability. I can have do-overs at work if I mess up while learning, and I can certainly have do-overs in my personal life when I mess up. I need to remember that!

I am going to my family reunion next weekend, and it should be a blast. So far we are about up to eighty of us cousins, with several more still to be heard from. We will be loud, and there will be laughter. Some haven't seen me before I got fat, and very few have seen me since I started my lap-band journey. It will be interesting to see there perceptions of the old/new me.

I hope the jambalaya is fat free. Seriously, what are the chances of that??

Good News-Bad News Rollercoaster

Greetings, Fellow Readers!

This past week has been a good-bad-good-bad news sort of week. None of the bad news has been devastating, but it seems to me that I really deserve a little normalcy in my life. But then, many of my friends would attest that I have never BEEN normal...

The good news was last week, we thought we might get a storm heading our way and bring some much needed rain. The bad news was it might turn into a damaging hurricane.

The good news was Don didn't. The bad news was Don didn't. It just fizzled, dried out as it hit our coastline, and according to the national weather center, did so like no other storm has ever done. I can attest to that. As I was floating in the pool one day, I noticed dark clouds coming my way. I thought I might have to get out of the water, but then I saw it. The rain coming down, and literally evaporating halfway down as it hit the extremely dry air.

The good news is at least my high storm shutters are up. The bad new was I twisted my knee again going up and down the ladder. but the good news was that I didn't have to go get a cortisone shot. And my shutters are staying up until after hurricane season.

The good news was I stocked up on quick foods in case the electricity went out. The bad news it didn't so I had lots of "not so good for me" food. The good news the pizza was really good. The bad news? It was really good.

The good news was that I actually found a few job opportunities. The bad news was that most have ignored my request for an interview. The good news I got one opportunity, but the bad news was I didn't get the job.

The good news is I found still another personnel agency and had an chance for a face-to-face meeting. The bad news is that agency didn't like my reinvented resume and actually liked the old one better. Third revision coming up!

The bad news is all that extra pizza loved my waistline. The good news is I have two weeks to work it off.

The bad news is I had to face the fear of discovery of my pizza indiscretion last night at my support group. The good news is I didn't, and that they are reinventing the support group format which should be even more productive.

The good news is my doctor reduced the dosage on my blood pressure medicine. The bad new... oh, wait! That is ALL good news! It means I am making progress!

The good news, I am not normal. The bad news is that I am not normal....

More fun being weird, but a teensy bit of normalcy would be greatly appreciated for a couple of weeks.