If you are a first time reader, you probably are thinking that this is all about the Big Meal and wondering why is she telling me how to stuff a turkey now, 5 days later. Well read on...
The turkey that got stuffed was ME.
Part of me thinks that I can and better eat everything I love before I can't eat it any longer. And that is the part that I listen to the most. And, that thinking really made me "stuffed." I am sure I was not the only one, but a month before my lap-band surgery is not a very effective time to suddenly get a guilt trip about overeating.
I cooked the Thanksgiving dinner for the five of us, four friends and me. I did my early shopping, but of course forgot several things and made two extra trips to the grocery store. In between, I cooked. I planned the recipe with my friends' needs in mind, two of which are diabetic. That was a real challenge for me as I love lots of brown sugar in several Turkey Day recipes. I got creative and found other ways to sweeten the yams and pies. We decided to do away with mashed potatoes and opted for roasted veggies, which were a nice change. But we still had a huge turkey, two different kinds of dressing, and several pies - all the trimmings! And even though they left with over half the leftovers, there was still a lot of food to deal with. And you know me....
I DIDN'T WASTE ONE LITTLE MORSEL!
Dang!
So now, my daunting task is to lose the extra pounds and then some so I can show the doctor that I weigh less than last month. I wouldn't want him to think I am not trying!
BUT... If I could've done it all on my own, I wouldn't need to be preparing for the lap-band solution!
Anyway, the Turkey Day was a success for the most part. Except the Cowboys lost. That one hurt!
And I am still 4F
I am fair (haven't been in the sun a lot lately)
I am fat (ok, maybe a little fatter than two weeks ago)
I am fifty (actually a lot past, but that is a good thing)
and
OMG, after all that food, I am still flatulent!
HA! It ain't so hard to live up to my expectations.
Guess I better set my standards a litlle higher...
Monday, November 29, 2010
Tuesday, November 16, 2010
I See Food, People!
I know I am not the only one that has ever been on the see-food diet. But, the sad thing is I DO see food--everywhere! I can't blame it all on the thought that I am looking for it because I am afraid I won't get it anymore after my surgery. Common sense tells me that I will be able to eat most of what I want, just not in normal quantities. But then again, my idea of what a normal quantity is must be waaay off, or I wouldn't be in this pickle. (Did I just see food again??)
I went last week for my second meeting with the dietitian, and I knew that he knew I fudged a little. I told myself it wasn't a lot but at this stage any amount over the small portions I should be eating IS a lot. I did lose four pounds, but I know it won't last. I have found myself looking for the unhealthy foods in my pantry and stuffing myself with them so they won't be there after Thanksgiving. And, when I go to the grocery store I try to remember to shop responsibly, but the pastry/breads/deli are right by where I have to check out. I find myself walking by very slowly as to milk as much of the fragrances I can.
But if I keep giving in to the bread temptations, I know I will be forking over a lot more bread out of my pocket for medical expenses. And if you haven't figured it out yet, us 4F-ers, well, we have lots of doctor visits. I know and understand I must break this cycle and quit seeing food as my crutch. It is a means to an end. Healthy or Unhealthy. You are what you eat. But what happens if you really like food?
I am not artistic, but I see textures in the food I eat. I love one-dish meals that have crunchy and soft food combos, and with lots of different colors. I think of it as my "artwork." I created it; it is all mine! Not that I can mount it on the wall....
Nope, I just seem to mount it on my butt. How stupid is that??
I once had a boyfriend that insisted that my love of bananas was because my body craved potassium.
"I just like 'em," I'd shrug.
He would look at me. "Your body wants the potassium."
"Nooo, I really really like bananas!" I loved the way they squished in your mouth, how they presented themselves on your palate, and I loved them in lots of different dishes.
"It's your body...." We broke up soon afterwards. He just didn't get it.
I am cooking the turkey this year for our Thanksgiving celebration. My last meal, last splurge, last chance to savor the flavors and the smells and justify that it is the holiday that allows you to eat yourself into a stupor to the point you can't get off the couch. And once the Cowboys win their third game in a row under their new coach, it will be time to hit the dessert table again. I sure hope the new me won't miss it too much.
Did you notice how many times I mentioned food in this posting?
pickles...
bread...
fudge...
forked....
milk...
turkey...
stuffing...
desserts!
I see food, people!
I went last week for my second meeting with the dietitian, and I knew that he knew I fudged a little. I told myself it wasn't a lot but at this stage any amount over the small portions I should be eating IS a lot. I did lose four pounds, but I know it won't last. I have found myself looking for the unhealthy foods in my pantry and stuffing myself with them so they won't be there after Thanksgiving. And, when I go to the grocery store I try to remember to shop responsibly, but the pastry/breads/deli are right by where I have to check out. I find myself walking by very slowly as to milk as much of the fragrances I can.
But if I keep giving in to the bread temptations, I know I will be forking over a lot more bread out of my pocket for medical expenses. And if you haven't figured it out yet, us 4F-ers, well, we have lots of doctor visits. I know and understand I must break this cycle and quit seeing food as my crutch. It is a means to an end. Healthy or Unhealthy. You are what you eat. But what happens if you really like food?
I am not artistic, but I see textures in the food I eat. I love one-dish meals that have crunchy and soft food combos, and with lots of different colors. I think of it as my "artwork." I created it; it is all mine! Not that I can mount it on the wall....
Nope, I just seem to mount it on my butt. How stupid is that??
I once had a boyfriend that insisted that my love of bananas was because my body craved potassium.
"I just like 'em," I'd shrug.
He would look at me. "Your body wants the potassium."
"Nooo, I really really like bananas!" I loved the way they squished in your mouth, how they presented themselves on your palate, and I loved them in lots of different dishes.
"It's your body...." We broke up soon afterwards. He just didn't get it.
I am cooking the turkey this year for our Thanksgiving celebration. My last meal, last splurge, last chance to savor the flavors and the smells and justify that it is the holiday that allows you to eat yourself into a stupor to the point you can't get off the couch. And once the Cowboys win their third game in a row under their new coach, it will be time to hit the dessert table again. I sure hope the new me won't miss it too much.
Did you notice how many times I mentioned food in this posting?
pickles...
bread...
fudge...
forked....
milk...
turkey...
stuffing...
desserts!
I see food, people!
Wednesday, November 3, 2010
I've Been Working on My Dieting, All the Live Long Day!
Tell me if I'm wrong. Dieting is a horrible word. It should be stricken from the English Language and removed from all dictionaries. It has a meaning, I am sure, and maybe even a use for those that need to lose less than 10 pounds. But, for the rest of us? It is a useless misnomer for what we go through.
As much as I hated going to the psychologist, I think I really hated going to visit the dietitian. I knew what the skinny kid was going to say. Having gotten this far in the process, and hoping that maybe this time it would really work out, I was really afraid that he was going to tell me that if I would just eat this and not even look at that other, I would immediately begin to lose those dreaded pounds in droves. HA! I would tell him he doesn't understand, etcetera and so forth.
Truth is, I know I eat too much. I tell myself that it is hard because I live alone, and Mama always told me to clean my plate, and I can't afford to let the leftovers go to waste. But, deep down, I know these are things that are controllable by me. So, why can't I do that simple little thing?
I know all the tricks... smaller plates, put away the extra BEFORE you sit at the table. Don't watch TV (wait, isn't it on to keep me company with the "noise?") When you go out to eat, ask for the take home box up front and put half your food in it before you put your fork in your mouth. Portion Control IS Everything. So why is it so darn hard?
I think I use food as a crutch out of boredom, old habits, and maybe a little stress. I didn't realize this until I decided to start this journey. Doesn't make it any easier to get a handle one, but it does put it in perspective for me.
I was pleasantly surprised to find out that my choices were for the most part healthy ones. I was horrified to realize how small a portion was, and how much of a so-called portion I would be able to eat in the beginning. I am going to starve to death! Wait...do I have to starve my old body, mind, and soul to give birth to my new one?
When I went to North Carolina last month, I knew dieting would be hard, for a variety of reasons. I knew I would be surrounded by food and friends who would all be nibbling away. And, I knew airport eating would be more on the unhealthy side as you are running from terminal to terminal. But I am back now, and I need to be thinking about losing a few pounds and changing my habits. I must write down everything I eat, and I found myself on the trip omitting that I had Frito's and queso. And I ain't even gonna mention the cheese cake. I did drink lots of water, in between the Zero Coke. I have to go see him in a few days, and I hope he doesn't catch on to my little white lies. Like that will happen!
Here is my 4-F SWF confession for the day. You know those white chocolate macadamia nut cookies? The sinful ones that look like they are calling your name? My grocery chain makes the best ones, and package them in boxes of a half dozen. I made the mistake of looking at the nutritional facts after I had eaten two of them. Big Mistake. One beautiful cookie had a whopping 450 calories! In less than four minutes, I had consumed 900 calories! I felt so guilty that by the next day I decided to get rid of them so I wouldn't be tempted. But then all my ancestral voices shouted out something about "waste not, want not" - so I ate 'em all. I was so proud that I didn't waste and recycled the container.
Let's see... 6 cookies at 450 calories each equals 2700 decadent pleasurable indulgence. Hmmm!
Maybe that saying should be "waist wants food -NOT." Dang it, it is that diet syndrome again!
As much as I hated going to the psychologist, I think I really hated going to visit the dietitian. I knew what the skinny kid was going to say. Having gotten this far in the process, and hoping that maybe this time it would really work out, I was really afraid that he was going to tell me that if I would just eat this and not even look at that other, I would immediately begin to lose those dreaded pounds in droves. HA! I would tell him he doesn't understand, etcetera and so forth.
Truth is, I know I eat too much. I tell myself that it is hard because I live alone, and Mama always told me to clean my plate, and I can't afford to let the leftovers go to waste. But, deep down, I know these are things that are controllable by me. So, why can't I do that simple little thing?
I know all the tricks... smaller plates, put away the extra BEFORE you sit at the table. Don't watch TV (wait, isn't it on to keep me company with the "noise?") When you go out to eat, ask for the take home box up front and put half your food in it before you put your fork in your mouth. Portion Control IS Everything. So why is it so darn hard?
I think I use food as a crutch out of boredom, old habits, and maybe a little stress. I didn't realize this until I decided to start this journey. Doesn't make it any easier to get a handle one, but it does put it in perspective for me.
I was pleasantly surprised to find out that my choices were for the most part healthy ones. I was horrified to realize how small a portion was, and how much of a so-called portion I would be able to eat in the beginning. I am going to starve to death! Wait...do I have to starve my old body, mind, and soul to give birth to my new one?
When I went to North Carolina last month, I knew dieting would be hard, for a variety of reasons. I knew I would be surrounded by food and friends who would all be nibbling away. And, I knew airport eating would be more on the unhealthy side as you are running from terminal to terminal. But I am back now, and I need to be thinking about losing a few pounds and changing my habits. I must write down everything I eat, and I found myself on the trip omitting that I had Frito's and queso. And I ain't even gonna mention the cheese cake. I did drink lots of water, in between the Zero Coke. I have to go see him in a few days, and I hope he doesn't catch on to my little white lies. Like that will happen!
Here is my 4-F SWF confession for the day. You know those white chocolate macadamia nut cookies? The sinful ones that look like they are calling your name? My grocery chain makes the best ones, and package them in boxes of a half dozen. I made the mistake of looking at the nutritional facts after I had eaten two of them. Big Mistake. One beautiful cookie had a whopping 450 calories! In less than four minutes, I had consumed 900 calories! I felt so guilty that by the next day I decided to get rid of them so I wouldn't be tempted. But then all my ancestral voices shouted out something about "waste not, want not" - so I ate 'em all. I was so proud that I didn't waste and recycled the container.
Let's see... 6 cookies at 450 calories each equals 2700 decadent pleasurable indulgence. Hmmm!
Maybe that saying should be "waist wants food -NOT." Dang it, it is that diet syndrome again!
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