I See Food, People!

I know I am not the only one that has ever been on the see-food diet. But, the sad thing is I DO see food--everywhere! I can't blame it all on the thought that I am looking for it because I am afraid I won't get it anymore after my surgery. Common sense tells me that I will be able to eat most of what I want, just not in normal quantities. But then again, my idea of what a normal quantity is must be waaay off, or I wouldn't be in this pickle. (Did I just see food again??)

I went last week for my second meeting with the dietitian, and I knew that he knew I fudged a little. I told myself it wasn't a lot but at this stage any amount over the small portions I should be eating IS a lot.  I did lose four pounds, but I know it won't last. I have found myself looking for the unhealthy foods in my pantry and stuffing myself with them so they won't be there after Thanksgiving. And, when I go to the grocery store I try to remember to shop responsibly, but the pastry/breads/deli are right by where I have to check out. I find myself walking by very slowly as to milk as much of the fragrances I can.

But if I keep giving in to the bread temptations, I know I will be forking over a lot more bread out of my pocket for medical expenses. And if you haven't figured it out yet, us 4F-ers, well, we have lots of doctor visits. I know and understand I must break this cycle and quit seeing food as my crutch. It is a means to an end. Healthy or Unhealthy. You are what you eat.  But what happens if you really like food?

I am not artistic, but I see textures in the food I eat. I love one-dish meals that have crunchy and soft food combos, and with lots of different colors. I think of it as my "artwork." I created it; it is all mine! Not that I can mount it on the wall....

Nope, I just seem to mount it on my butt. How stupid is that??

I once had a boyfriend that insisted that my love of bananas was because my body craved potassium.

"I just like 'em," I'd shrug.

He would look at me. "Your body wants the potassium."

"Nooo, I really really like bananas!" I loved the way they squished in your mouth, how they presented themselves on your palate, and I loved them in lots of different dishes.

"It's your body...."  We broke up soon afterwards. He just didn't get it.

I am cooking the turkey this year for our Thanksgiving celebration. My last meal, last splurge, last chance to savor the flavors and the smells and justify that it is the holiday that allows you to eat yourself into a stupor to the point you can't get off the couch. And once the Cowboys win their third game in a row under their new coach,  it will be time to hit the dessert table again. I sure hope the new me won't miss it too much.

Did you notice how many times I mentioned food in this posting?

pickles...
bread...
fudge...
forked....
milk...
turkey...
stuffing...
desserts!

I see food, people!