Tell me if I'm wrong. Dieting is a horrible word. It should be stricken from the English Language and removed from all dictionaries. It has a meaning, I am sure, and maybe even a use for those that need to lose less than 10 pounds. But, for the rest of us? It is a useless misnomer for what we go through.
As much as I hated going to the psychologist, I think I really hated going to visit the dietitian. I knew what the skinny kid was going to say. Having gotten this far in the process, and hoping that maybe this time it would really work out, I was really afraid that he was going to tell me that if I would just eat this and not even look at that other, I would immediately begin to lose those dreaded pounds in droves. HA! I would tell him he doesn't understand, etcetera and so forth.
Truth is, I know I eat too much. I tell myself that it is hard because I live alone, and Mama always told me to clean my plate, and I can't afford to let the leftovers go to waste. But, deep down, I know these are things that are controllable by me. So, why can't I do that simple little thing?
I know all the tricks... smaller plates, put away the extra BEFORE you sit at the table. Don't watch TV (wait, isn't it on to keep me company with the "noise?") When you go out to eat, ask for the take home box up front and put half your food in it before you put your fork in your mouth. Portion Control IS Everything. So why is it so darn hard?
I think I use food as a crutch out of boredom, old habits, and maybe a little stress. I didn't realize this until I decided to start this journey. Doesn't make it any easier to get a handle one, but it does put it in perspective for me.
I was pleasantly surprised to find out that my choices were for the most part healthy ones. I was horrified to realize how small a portion was, and how much of a so-called portion I would be able to eat in the beginning. I am going to starve to death! Wait...do I have to starve my old body, mind, and soul to give birth to my new one?
When I went to North Carolina last month, I knew dieting would be hard, for a variety of reasons. I knew I would be surrounded by food and friends who would all be nibbling away. And, I knew airport eating would be more on the unhealthy side as you are running from terminal to terminal. But I am back now, and I need to be thinking about losing a few pounds and changing my habits. I must write down everything I eat, and I found myself on the trip omitting that I had Frito's and queso. And I ain't even gonna mention the cheese cake. I did drink lots of water, in between the Zero Coke. I have to go see him in a few days, and I hope he doesn't catch on to my little white lies. Like that will happen!
Here is my 4-F SWF confession for the day. You know those white chocolate macadamia nut cookies? The sinful ones that look like they are calling your name? My grocery chain makes the best ones, and package them in boxes of a half dozen. I made the mistake of looking at the nutritional facts after I had eaten two of them. Big Mistake. One beautiful cookie had a whopping 450 calories! In less than four minutes, I had consumed 900 calories! I felt so guilty that by the next day I decided to get rid of them so I wouldn't be tempted. But then all my ancestral voices shouted out something about "waste not, want not" - so I ate 'em all. I was so proud that I didn't waste and recycled the container.
Let's see... 6 cookies at 450 calories each equals 2700 decadent pleasurable indulgence. Hmmm!
Maybe that saying should be "waist wants food -NOT." Dang it, it is that diet syndrome again!
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