I have decided that my new job has taken over my life. I know there will be rewards down the road, but in the mean time, everything revolves around work. In some cases that is good, but it also has led to some poor choices on my part.
I am working well over forty hours a week, which is good for the old checking account. Not to mention it makes it a little bit easier to pay bills. That is good. And the work is not physically hard. But the fact that I am sitting most of the day has made my knees hurt and my ankles swell. I need to remember to get up and walk around every so often to get the blood flowing from head to toe in its proper fashion. I get so busy I sometimes forget to do just that. So I am bringing my exercise "sheet" that I got at a support group meeting a month or so ago, and I am taping them to my cubicle as a reminder to get up and move.
But, I have also realized that I have made a LOT of poor choices regarding food and drink that is directly related to work. And that is something that I must correct immediately!
I had a little health scare last month that required a visit to my cardiologist. I have always had premature heartbeats for as long as I can remember, and I have a couple of minor murmurs. But last month, the premature beats seemed to take over my very existence, so much so that I was afraid that I had a serious problem. It turns out that I apparently let myself get dehydrated. It took a while for that to sink in, as I thought I was drinking during the day. Wrong!
It was so hot in Texas this summer that we all needed to increase our water intake, and I did that when I was at home. However, I didn't continue that at work. I was very self conscious of the fact that I would have to get up and pee every five minutes if I drank the required amount. So, I told myself that a sip here and there was more than enough. It wasn't. I told myself I would make it up when I got home. I didn't. I was too tired, and frankly, just didn't think about it.
On Labor Day Weekend, my sister and I sold her blankets and my books at Marina Market Days. It was the hottest day of the year, well over 105 degrees, with a heat index approaching 120. We were in it all day, but the shade we had and the water we drank wasn't enough. And when I didn't get enough water the next days at work, my problems increased to the point that thinking about my weird heartbeat became all-consuming!
When I figured out what was going on after a few doctor visits, I stopped to assess what else in my life I had allowed to consume my thoughts and energy. The list got longer in a very short time.
I didn't consume too much coffee at work, but the coffee I did drink contained an awful lot of flavored creams. I allowed myself to consume junk food way too often. My work hours consumed so much of my time that I rationalized I didn't have time to exercise. I was so hungry when I got home that I consumed too much at supper time. And I realized I was consuming an unacceptable amount of fast food. All the things that hurt me so much when I was teaching I was now doing again. And it wasn't any better for me this go around that it was the first time.
After talking to my regular doctor, the cardiologist, and my lap-band surgeon, I realized I seriously needed to make adjustments. I talked to my boss about my need to eat correctly. I now go home at lunch and eat lightly, bringing back water to work, not soda. I readjusted my snack foods to make it healthier. I haven't worked out the time issue, because I realize the huge rewards that are just around the corner if we all put in the hours. But I have realized it is okay to go to the little girl's room as needed, and I don't care if anybody gets upset because I get up and walk around and/or stretch once an hour. It is what I have to do to to stay healthy.
I cannot let my need to pay bills become all-consuming! Nor can I allow myself to sit and worry about that which is out of my control. I can only recognize it as a challenge and find a way to do what I need to do in spite of that challenge.
I thought I had gained 3-5 pounds with all my bad habits. I had only gained one. I am glad I didn't let my guilt consume me. Friday I got my first fill in 3 months, and I think that will help me get back on track.
I also didn't let my guilt consume me when I went to my favorite clothing store to buy something new for the first time in over six months. No sirree! I just whipped out my credit card and bought it.
It didn't hurt that the pants were a size smaller than I had previously bought. And it wouldn't hurt if that goal of buying an even smaller size became my all-consuming goal!
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