Waste Lots, Needs More

I have been thinking a lot lately about how much I waste. I waste food and energy. I lose time by wasting too much of it. I certainly waste money. And if I hadn't been so wasteful on the wrong "eats" I wouldn't have such a "waist-full" problem. But this week I have thought the most about wasted opportunity.

And how when you waste one thing - anything - you need more of it to replace it.

We lost a huge talent this week. For whatever reason, a God-Given voice was again silenced. And while I don't pretend to know anything about her life other than what was reluctantly shared with the public, I do know something about obsessions and how it can take over your life.

I was watching The Bodyguard last night, not so much for the story; I knew that part. But I looked at it from my "objective" eye. How the music mirrored her life in so many ways. And the part that got me the most was thinking and asking myself if, without her voice, did she really have nothing? And the more she wanted, needed it back, did it become the obsession that took over her life?

I had a boyfriend more than a few years back. The less attention he gave me, the more I felt I needed it from him. It became my obsession. Not him, but it. What could I do to try to make it right? I let it consume me until one day God hit me over the head and yelled, not too kindly, "WAKE UP!" I got the message and made changes right then and there. Otherwise, I would have missed so many opportunities that I would have one day realized how little I had because I let IT overtake my waking thoughts.

I must be an obsessive person, because I think I did the same thing with food. The more time I wasted thinking about food, the more I needed to consume it. The more I ate, the more my waist expanded, which caused me to miss out on doing a lot of things with my friends. I got so fat I no longer had the strength to go out and DO. Wasted opportunities...

I waste time at work. Could that call I decided not to pick up become a wasted sales opportunity?

I wasted time sleeping. Would I ever see that meteor shower? Or was that my last opportunity?

I wasted time knowingly eating the wrong foods. What did that cause me to miss out on today?

I wasted time working the crossword puzzle, and I needed more time to finish my chores.

We all have a unique talent. I may not have found mine yet, but if I keep wasting those "fact-finding" opportunities, I may never find it. I tell myself that I will make time next week. But I keep needing more time.

I spent money on junk I didn't need, so I needed more money. To make more money I need more time.

I wasted time watching TV instead of calling my Aunt and telling her I loved her.

I wasted my energy yelling at the guy in front of me for going so slow I had to sit through another red light. Did I really need that extra thirty seconds I wasted sitting there? Why couldn't I just enjoy the song playing on the radio?

Living at the beach, I literally have a huge window overlooking the world. Why should I waste that opportunity? What more do I need?

Daddy's favorite commercial was for Blue Bell Ice Cream, the one where the father states that they named their town Needmore because they needed more Blue Bell, while his daughter is in the background saying, "No we didn't, Daddy!" I think he liked it because the father and daughter were needling each other. That was one of his favorite pastimes: needling in a good natured way. I wasted a lot of time sometimes feeling hurt instead of realizing that was his way of telling me he loved me. He couldn't always say the words but when he was gone, and the gentle needling disappeared, I realized how much I missed it AND him. And how I wasted an opportunity to tell him that.

I don't want to waste any more opportunities. I realized the other day that I am in my last quarter of my life. I don't have time to waste worrying about things which I cannot control. I want to grab that bull by the horns while I still can, then hang on for the ride.

I don't want to be eighty and worrying about the things I could have done. I want to tell my grand nieces and nephews about what I DID do, and how much fun I had doing it.

No more waste because I need to do so many more things before I die.

And when I find my talent; I pray that God doesn't let me waste it, that He shows me a way to use it wisely.