Tuck or Squeeze? That is the Question!

My first meeting with the doctor that will do the procedure went well. He explained the various options I have. After discussing the pros and cons, I opted for the least invasive, the lap band. Having had so many surgeries the last 2 years, I didn't even wanna think about being under for a long period of time. I was glad to see that he had a weight loss amount that was the same as what I had in my mind.

I left with a ton of info from brochures to websites I needed to register on and visit/view their cd. I was very happy to hear that my insurance would cover it. Too bad I didn't remember that my year's deductible is from Sept to Aug... one of the perks of being a school teacher. So the thousand bucks I already had toward my share doesn't count. Oh well, the way I am dishing out money to get my book published, what is another thousand??

My insurance requires that I have a 90 day waiting period. During that time, I must document all the exercise I do/get, and horrors upon horrors, what I put in my mouth daily. I wonder if he would know I was lying if I put 2 pancakes instead of 3, or if he will believe me that it was an awfully little ribeye I noshed on last night?

OF COURSE HE WILL KNOW.... I AM A 4-F SWF.  I no longer have any secrets or any pride left. I will grovel any way I can to justify being fat.

But, believe it or not,  that is not my biggest worry. Having heart surgery, I am not afraid of the procedure. Nor am I afraid of the visit to the dietitian. I expected that, and have known for a long time that portion control was my biggest issue.

What I AM afraid of is the other person I have to meet with. I have to go see a freakin' psychologist. I know I am certifiable, but I have closely guarded this secret for many years. Now I am going to have to bare my soul to somebody on a couch with a box of kleenex nearby. I understand now why Charlie on Two and a Half Men was so reluctant to go.
I don't want to talk about my life's disappointments. I don't wanna talk about my former boyfriends and how dumb I was in my choices. I don't wanna verbalize my life!

I am a 4-F SWF. I know I have issues. Geez, can't he tell just by looking at me??

I think I am going to need a Xanax refill....